www.kiva.org - help me change the world one life at a time

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Thought on A Moment Past

Sometimes it takes me a long while to compose a thought, especially if it is a feeling inside of me that I wordlessly understand but may not be able to describe to another. Today I finally composed my thoughts on something that happened earlier this year.

My husband was at OCS (Officer Candidate School) only two weeks when some blood work he had done before school was flagged. Ultimately, he was sent home to see specialists at Walter Reed and Bethesda (oncologists, urologists, etc). They thought he had cancer. Then, the secondary diagnosis was much worse than cancer. They said he might have an incurable disease that would give him, at best, 10 years to live and at worst, less than a year. More tests were run, and the wait began.

There were some people that got upset with me at this point in the story. They thought I should be freaking out, or at least show some sign that I was extremely concerned about my husband (who I love greatly). I did not. I couldn't explain well enough why, but now I can. Here is what I felt but couldn't articulate at the time.

If he was going to die, would my worry or panic change that fact? No. It's like this, let's say you are falling off a cliff. You cannot save yourself and you will die when you reach the bottom. You have two choices at this point, you can scream and yell, panic and thrash around and still die, or you can accept that death is inevitable and enjoy the view on the way down. Either way you die, we all do, but the choice is yours on how you experience life before that moment.

I have an incurable disease, it tries to kill me every now and again. Someday it will probably win. There are 2 advantages to having a life threatening disease. Number one, I have an idea of what will ultimately get me in the end, most do not, and number two, I don't take life for granted. I am not guaranteed a full, long life. So, I can either accept that and enjoy the journey, or not. People who are not in my position sometimes think I am crazy, that I should explore every option that may prolong my life irregardless of how that may affect my quality of life. I prefer quality over quantity. Besides, if I were young and healthy, I would probably squander the gift of life and youth, taking the most sacred and special of moments for granted. Instead, I live life with the motto, Carpe Diem, Seize the day! Do you?

It turned out that the doctors were wrong. My husband did not have cancer or a life threatening disease. They say the blood work was a fluke. Life is funny like that. To those that worried and fussed at me, I hope you take a step back and think about what I have shared. I hope you choose to live life like YOU were dying.

Monday, September 27, 2010

A Book Swap!

Ok, I may be behind the times, but I just discovered a fantastic website. Do you have any used books lying around? Ones you've already enjoyed, but you're never going to read again? I did, and I finally found a great way to share them with other people!

It seems that a few guys were sitting around one night talking about all the paperback books that they purchased over the years while traveling on business. Each of them had a large stack of books that they had read, so they decided to set up a website at http://www.PaperBackSwap.com/ that allows all of us to swap books with each other.

Let me tell you how it works -- because it is so easy! I listed a bunch of books on the site (listing 10 books gets the first member in your household free credits!) and I got 2 free book credits to get started. So you can order 2 books right away - free of charge -- and have them mailed directly to you! No strings attached. No gimmicks. No spam mail. Nothing. You just have to love reading books.

When another member selects one of my books that I have listed, I mail it to them. Yes, I pay for the postage. But then I get another book credit and I can select a book that I want. So another Club Member returns the favor and mails me one of his or her books free of charge. For every book I mail out, I get another book in return - a true shared system!

When someone requests one of your books, all you have to do is print two pieces of regular paper from your printer which includes the mailing address and the recommended postage. Apply the postage, and drop it in the mail. Hey, for a typical paperback, you don't even need to go to the post office.

Right now the annual club membership is free. Eventually the founders will ask everyone to help contribute to pay for the upkeep of the web site, but for now the annual club membership is free. The annual dues will probably be between $10 and $20 based on the number of people in the club. But again, right now you don't even have to pay any dues for at least one year if you become a Member.

You really need to check this out. And if you do sign up, please use the following link:

http://www.paperbackswap.com/index.php?r_by=echoesinthyme@gmail.com

If you use the link above to join, I'll get a free book when you post your first ten books (and you'll still get free books for posting them!)

For more information about the site, you can visit the Help area, by clicking the link below, and select 'About PBS' to read how it works:

http://www.paperbackswap.com/help/help_index.php

Best Regards,

Kellie

P.S. I have already posted 22 books this afternoon and 5 have been claimed and I have, in return, requested an out of print bread book. What a great way to recycle and pick up books of interest. I've got my eye on some how to books, a couple reference books, and Nate is pining for a new hiking trail/fishing book. Even the kids have offered some books and put in requests for new reading materials when their books are claimed. You should check it out if you haven't already. Signing up is free, and if you say I referred you, I can earn free credits!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Changes are in the wind

Wow, has it really been 5 months since I last updated my blog? I'll need to work on that. It feels like nearly everything in my life has changed since February. Nate got sent home from OCS after only being there 2 weeks. They said something was wrong with his blood work and he might be really sick (read: cancer or some other horrible disease with lots of acronyms). He came home upset, as you can imagine, but not because they said he was sick, but because they didn't let him finish school! That's my man. Fast forward through a month of grueling probes, tests, and visits to 3 different doctors...the conclusion. "There's nothing wrong with you." So he resubmitted his packet to go back to school....and we waited. In the meantime, someone decided that we have been here too long and put us on orders to move to Fairbanks, Alaska! Don't get me wrong, I love Alaska. I lived there 4 years. What I don't love is moving over 6,000 miles only to have Nate turn around and leave for school. I won't bore you with the details, but the move was on again and off again for months. As of last week, the move was deleted (cancelled) and we again waited to hear back from OCS branch. The call came today. In fact, the call came as I was writing this. Nate leaves for school in November. What does that mean for the children and I? Well, the schooling is actually 2 schools back to back. All in all, it takes about 7 months for him to complete them. That would mean we are moving in the summer of next year. Ben can finish middle school here (he's going into 8th grade in the fall), and Taylor plans on homeschooling. I keep my job for another year, which may or may not be a good thing. We stay in the same home...uh, that reminds me, we should let the landlord know that we'll be here a bit longer. People here will be glad we aren't moving, but to be honest. I'm used to the gypsy lifestyle that the Army has given us. I'm restless and ready to go. It's probably all for the best though as my Ulcerative Colitis has flared again and it feels like I have a bad case of food poisoning all of the time. I'm not in my best fighting shape, and know I will need to concede to doctor's visits soon. I don't trust doctors and that's another story in itself. In the meantime, I have been doing a lot of test knits and knitting for babies on the way. I had one niece born this month (Eliana Michelle Orth, born July 11th, 8 1/2 pounds), and one due in August. I have overloaded my schedule with things to do to keep my mind off of the illness (and the fact that my immune system is trying to kill me), but as my blood counts drop, so does my energy...not sure how long I can manage this facade. I fear a crash and burn is possible. Probable...but not right now, I have too much to do!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Ravelympics and other life events



Wow, so at first I wanted to blog all of the time, but I figured that might be a little pathetic, so I forced myself to stay away from the computer...well, at least long enough to forget about my blog! It's hard to believe that over a month has gone by since my last post. So, to catch things up to speed, Nate left for OCS (at Fort Benning, Ga.) today after spending the afternoon filing taxes. He graduates May 20th, so that gives me 3 months to get a lot of projects done. I got caught up in the excitement of ravelympics on Ravelry.com this month and have tried new projects, and learned or reaquainted myself with certain techniques. I've finished 3 preemie hats, one cardigan for an infant (Chloe-by Never Not Knitting), gotten half of a strawberry baby hat done, half a scarf, and all but the embellishments done on my first amigurumi kokeshi cat doll. I don't care for amigurumi, but my cousin should love it. Had to learn the "magic ring" in order to do it. Not sure why they think it is magic, but a fun way to start nonetheless. I participated in a quilting pincushion exchange and sent my partner a teddy bear holding a pincushion. I call her "Collette" and she is one of a kind. I doubt I will ever get around to making another with so many other exciting projects to tackle. The picture of Chloe above was taken before I blocked it, so the ruffle looks curled up. I haven't learned how to format the blog posts yet, so the pictures will just have to stay at the top for now. If you ever want to see what I am up to or have recently finished, you can visit my ravelry page. My username is seamanclan. I have some commissioned baby pieces that I have recently finished since the last post as well as a few bookmarks, and a yarn ball keeper (wristlet) for when I go to the coffee shop with my knitting friends. Oh, and to think that my quilting "to do" list is even longer than my knitting one! Sigh, it's time for a cup of tea and a good magazine while nestled under one of my vintage quilts.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

It is Finished!


I did it! Felt like pulling teeth in the end. You see, the pattern wasn't difficult at all...it's just that I love to start new projects, but when the newness wears off, I am usually off to another project. I am addicted to the "high" and adventure of a new task, but hate following through when the "high" wears off. I guess that goes for nearly everything in my life. That is why finishing this silly cardigan is such a big deal. I finished it! Yay for me! Babysteps to a new me. Small victories! Press on!

Friday, January 8, 2010

On the Needles


So, my sewing machine is sitting idle, collecting dust and feeling quite forlorn, I'm sure. I can't always choose what is going to inspire me or motivate me. Today, it is a ball of aquamarine (varigated greens, blues and white)sock yarn that is the object of my affection. I already have 3 socks in various stages of completion (one of which I started nearly 2 years ago)...so I didn't need another lonely sock. My mind wandered to what else a ball of sock yarn might be good for, and a quick search on the internet revealed a whole new world to me! So, I find a pattern that has my favorite words "free" and "knits up quickly." Bingo! So here I am knitting up a cardigan for my daughter's AG doll. Yes, I am wasting perfectly good yarn on an inanimate object, but hey, it could be worse, I saw a pattern for an apple cozy, no really, a cozy for an uneaten apple. My brain told me I could whip up this adorable cardigan in half an afternoon. Too bad I forgot I was using sock yarn (fingering weight) and size 2 needles...3 days later my mind is wandering to a really awesome scarf I want to try (knit in bulky yarn, yay!). Not sure how much longer I can hold out before this too gets relegated to the abandoned projects pile and is replaced with something new that catches my fancy. We'll have to wait and see. Here is a pic I took on the 6th (it's now about halfway finished and has 1 arm). Ah, the life of an ADD knitter...:o) Here's the ravelry link if you are interested in seeing what it should look like when finished.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Beginnings

So, here's the first entry of my first blog. I have had days to think about what I would write about (since I can only have one "first" blog post). Should I start with who I am, why I am doing this, or just random entertainment? In order to relieve the stress of a perfectionist trying to create the "perfect first blog", I will end it here. There is plenty of time to get to know me. As far as why I am doing this...consider it an online journal. I plan on recording the evolution of my life this year. Call it an experiment, if you will.